The River

As she sat in front of the river watching the water cascade over rocks, sand banks and pass trees. Her attention was drawn upstream. The river raged with anger and fury.  Attacking everything it encounter on its path. It was rough. She could not help herself as her mind drifted into the past and to all the events that lead to this point. Her childhood. The constant fighting between her parents. The lack of attention she felt as a result. The anger, the sadness, the distance that she felt. The lack of support, the lack of love, and the emptiness she felt. Then into her teens. The bullying, the ridicule, the teasing, the jokes. All leaving her feeling angry, sad, lonely. All the time eating away at her self-worth. Her self-esteem. Her confidence. The day of her sixteenth birthday. No party, no friends, no joy. Her high school graduation. Everyone had loving and supportive parents and siblings around them. She had parents that could not string a single sentence together without attacking each other or her siblings or herself. The anger, the sadness, the misery growing stronger and stronger. So strong in fact that all it did was destroy everything in its path away. Covering and destroying all the rocks, trees, and sand banks. There was nothing in its path that was safe.

She could not wait to get out of the way of all this rage. As she followed the downward movement of the river, she noticed that the river started to flow a little more calmly. Her thoughts drifted towards the early days of her marriage. The love, the togetherness, the sex, the holidays and the quality time she enjoyed. So peaceful, joyful, exciting and contentment.

Then without warning, it started to change again. The river started to rage once more, as it got closer to her. Her life started to fill with anger and sadness. All the old fears, sadness and pain started to return. She could not stop it. It was over whelming. She could control it. It over powered her. Flowing with such vigour, destroying, and over powering everything in its path.

She now found herself starring at the river directly in front of her. Wondering what would happen next. Imaging the river flowing downstream with the same vigour and intensity it had used to get to this point. She followed it down stream and noticed that it did continue downstream with the same vigour and gusto. It followed the same destructive as before. She knew it had to change. It had to be different. Even though she was afraid and scared, she forced herself back to the river in front of her. Coming back to where she was now, at this moment in time. She knew that now was the time for change. And only now would bring about a difference.

Looking deep inside of her, she found a place where things were different. A place where joy and happiness resided. Where the joy of life began to shine. Noticing all the new possibilities, she began to dream of what she wanted. The peace, the joy, the fulfilment and the contentment that she wanted. As she got lost in this dream, the past seem to melt away. Where the river came from seem to disappear and only where it headed, mattered. She once again followed the river downstream from where she was, and this time, as she followed the river downstream something amazing happened. The river took a new direction. Like magic, it began to flow with stillness. Caressing everything in its path. Moulding itself to the challenges, it encountered. Treating all in its path as friend instead of foe. Treating all in is path with love. Embracing all in its path, hugging all in its path, reforming itself to accommodate all in its path. There was beauty in the way it flowed. There was a magic in the river. Cleansing, loving and embracing all in its path. She knew that this was what she wanted. And she knew at that moment that she had the power and the ability to make things different. She knew she could change the past. She knew she had the power to subdue the past and change how the river followed further. She had that power. She had that power now. She embraced her power of now. She continued to focus on what she wanted, rather than what she had. She focused on the peace, joy, love, understanding, acceptance  and abundance that she had inside of her and like magic the river began to transform. Transform into the beauty that resided inside of her. With calm and understanding it took a new turn. It still had obstacles and challenges that it needed to overcome. But this time it encountered those obstacles and challenges in a loving and caring manner. With calmness and understanding. And instead raging and trying to destroy the obstacles and challenges, it gently and calmly found a way around them.

She had found the peace and joy she was yearning for. She found it inside of her and in the now. Not in past, but rather in the now. In this moment in time. And that is all she needed to do, to change the future and bring joy, happiness and love into her life.